Shortage of Parachutes

Posted on February 25, 2008 - Filed Under Funny Jokes | Leave a Comment

A blonde, a brunette, a movie star, the pope, and a pilot were on a plane.The plane was going down fast, and there were only four parachutes for all five of them.The pilot took one and jumped, then the movie star took one and jumped, and then the blonde took one and jumped.The pope told the brunette to take the last one.The brunette said, “There are still 2 parachutes left! The blonde took my backpack!”

Slot Machine Winner

Posted on February 25, 2008 - Filed Under Funny Jokes | Leave a Comment

A dumb blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store. After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine. She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button; suddenly, a coke comes out the machine!She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient. “Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever stupid thing you are doing?”The blonde turns around and says, “Yeah right! I’m not giving up this machine while I’m still winning!”

Blonde Test Taker

Posted on February 25, 2008 - Filed Under Funny Jokes | Leave a Comment

A blonde reports for her university final exam which consists of mainly true and false questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails. Within thirty minutes she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still working furiously.During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is happening.”I finished the exam in a half hour,” she replies. “Now I’m rechecking my answers.”

Turn back your Car Odometer

Posted on February 25, 2008 - Filed Under Funny Jokes | Leave a Comment

A blonde made several attempts to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems finding a buyer because the car had 340,000 miles on it. She discussed her problem with a brunette that she worked with at a bar.The brunette suggested, “There may be a chance to sell that car easier, but it’s not going to be legal.””That doesn’t matter at all,” replied the blonde. “All that matters it that I am able to sell this car.””Alright,” replied the brunette. In a quiet voice, she told the blonde: “Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop around here. Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the counter back on your car to 40,000 miles. Then it shouldn’t be a problem to sell your car.”The following weekend, the blonde took a trip to the mechanic on the brunette’s advice.About one month after that, the brunette saw the blonde and asked, “Did you sell your car?””No!” replied the blonde. “Why should I? It only has 40,000 miles on it.”

Three blonds on Death Row

Posted on February 25, 2008 - Filed Under Funny Jokes | Leave a Comment

Three women are about to be executed for crimes. One’s a brunette, one’s a redhead, and one’s a blonde.Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, “Ready . . . Aim . . .”Suddenly the brunette yells, “earthquake!!” Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, “Ready . . . Aim . . .”The redhead then screams, “tornado!!” Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready . . . Aim . . .”The blonde shouts, “fire!!”

Unlocking your car

Posted on February 25, 2008 - Filed Under Funny Jokes | Leave a Comment

Two blondes were recently observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. Here is their dialogue:Blonde One: I can’t seem to get this door unlocked!Blonde Two: Well, you’d better hurry up and try harder! it’s starting to rain, and the top is down!

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